lyrics tell it all...

i have found you with joy,
and the hope that you give.
so may i wait for you, oh lord,
in the pain i feel.
help me to faithfully,
surrender everything, in prayer.
and i will live at peace,
with everything, i swear.

and i will overcome,
yes i will overcome,
jesus, hold me,
and i will not forsake,
your namesake, for a moment
jesus cover me.

well i have found you with joy,
and the hope you give,
so may i wait for you, oh lord,
in the pain i feel,
help me to faithfully,
surrender everything, in prayer,
and i will live at peace,
with everything, i swear,

and i will overcome,
yes i will overcome,
jesus, hold me,
and i will not forsake,
your namesake, for a moment,
jesus cover me.

and i will overcome, (repeat x4)
and i will overcome
all things i've done,
now that youre here.

and i will overcome,
yes i will overcome,
jesus, hold me,
and i will not forsake,
your namesake, for a moment,
jesus cover me.

cover me,
cover me.

(lyrics by leslie dudney)

khris stillman

just me and the moon...

its 3:00am on another cold bitter night and the lights went out in this city hours ago. all thats left is a busy mind with a lonely heart...thoughts racing like a bad storm through my head.

what is it about this silent hour that leaves you all alone...
this still hour that awakens silent cries that reach no ear, touch no heart, and sustain no pain...to anyone but me...

im the only one listening.

am i waging war on myself? can i survive till sunrise or will i give into my heavy eyes...the black circles filled with the pitch of night...

will i succumb to the darkness of this hour?

tonight i write by the responsive touch of moonlight on my soul...together we watch the stars dance across the water and give company to the lonesome.

heres to me and the moon on another restless night.

forever dreaming.

khris stillman

love letter

dear you.

your beauty is unlike that of any other. i am hugged by your presence knowing that you live in happiness. your smile wrapping its comforting arms around everyone it looks at. your heart and passion bring joy and light on life. you spread happiness and love more than you even know. here is to hoping we talk. maybe this time i can hold on. i promise i wont let go. just give me one moment of your time and you wont regret it for the rest of your life.
until that moment i wait. patiently.
im here.
for you.

khris stillman

21 years without rest...

the past few days i have been so tired. felt so exhausted but gotten plenty of rest...

is it possible that for 21 years i have never actually rested...
i was weathered with questions.
lost without answers.
chasing after a hope or a dream.
and never got a chance to rest.

but now it is all here. the questions fleeting my lips. the answers whispered in my ears. and the hope and dream in my hands.

is it possible that these days i am getting the most rest i have had in years...that my body and soul and mind is actually relaxing.

that feeling of being safe.

im here.

im home.

safe.

peaceful.

resting.

khris stillman

journey of questions...

ever had questions?
ever had so many questions you just dont even know where to begin?
ever been so consumed with questions that you cant even think of any to ask?

is there a wrong question to ask?
are there rules?
where do i begin?

21 years of life...of questions...searching for answers...and now i have the answers.

so where do i begin?

now begins a new journey...a journey to explore and seek. a journey that has some answers. a journey i have been waiting to take.

"god, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that can be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other." (reinhold niebuhr)

exploring. seeking.

the journey begins.

khris stillman

I FOUND HER!!!!

wow... i dont even know where to begin. im still in shock and everything still feels so surreal, but its happened. just recently i found my birth mother and made contact and over the last 48 hours we have gotten to know each other and it has been amazing! the conversations are so right and everything feels so good. im just amazed at how god could orchestrate this so well. its perfect.

his timing.

his plan.

i feel as though i have been given a second wind almost with life. at times i felt like this day would never come. i felt like there was a reality to me thinking i would go my whole life without knowing. but god had something else in store for me and for her.
i would like to introduce everyone to jenifer joy alimena (aka. mom) these next few posts will be introducing you to her and what she is like. i want everyone to get to know her. cant stop thanking god for being so faithful!

god is good. life is sweet.
live every moment and dont miss a single opportunity.
and never give up. never.
fight and realize that what you are fighting for is much more real than you could ever imagine.
fight long and fight hard.
endure pain and endure struggle.
god will allow you to get hurt, but he will never allow you to be harmed.
trust.
love.
embrace.
seek.

khris stillman

and so it begins...

what is this thing again?

i don't even want to think about the last time i posted a blog...wow. its safe to say i forgot what this means.

christmas break is coming to a close for me, i head back to lindenwood next monday. man how the time flew...its only been like seven weeks...haha.

it was a much needed seven weeks though. i was way overwhelmed with everything going on. i had attempted way to many classes, got myself into a bind with grades and worked myself too much trying to please too many people. i was slowly drowning...break came and i was able to regain focus on the things i love to do and able to do them well. now i have had my time to gather myself and school is about to start up and if im not careful i can easily fall right back in. this first month back is going to be CRAZY... lots going on... dont even know where to begin.

the key is to stay organized, keep focused and manage myself and my decisons well. if i fail at any of those...ive lost control.

so begins another semester.
so begins another opportunity.
so begins another trek in my journey.

how will it be spent.

khris stillman